I was asked today, if I could go back in time, what would I tell my younger self. I sat for a moment and thought to myself, what would I say? Study harder in school? Save more money? Don’t date douchebag because he was one? I didn’t want to be too flippant with my answer and disingenuous, so I told them I would think about it and get back to them. The question weighed on my mind for quite some time. It wasn’t one of those philosophical questions that leaves you pondering the great “what if’s” of life but I could not shake the question from my mind. And after a few hours I have finally come up with my answer. Nothing.
Most people are probably like “yea right, who wouldn’t tell their younger self to take out stocks in Facebook?” But I genuinely, whole-heartedly would say nothing. I would give her a squeeze and go back to my time. And my reasoning being is I have absolutely no regrets. Again, I’m sure some people are rolling their eyes, but I have no regrets. Please don’t confuse this with I haven’t done anything in my life that has caused regrets, because I assure you there is PLENTY. I swear to the great ever-knowing being in the universe that I have screwed up royally many times in my life, some of which still make me cringe in either embarrassment or give me “What the hell were you thinking?” thoughts. However I don’t regret those choices, decisions, actions, or accidents for the simple fact that I learned something from them. It could be as simple as learning that it is not a good idea to drink an entire bottle of Tequila or trying to scream at the boat driver to slow down while you are slowly going underneath the water while tubing (both true stories). I have dated boys that looking back now were the biggest wastes of time, but back then, oh my, were they “like the hottest thing ever!” If I had not dated my fair share of jerks, I wouldn’t have learned what I will tolerate and what I won’t, that I am perfectly fine in my own imperfections and I was just fine without them. And I wouldn’t have met Hubby, and without sounding pukishly sweet, is literally my other half.
My parents both enforced a strong urge to want to learn. My mother was always quizzing us on trivial facts, history, geography and she read to us even as we became teens. She was a key person in my life that helped develop my love of reading, writing and the English language. Her and I would play rounds of Scrabble, and I’ll never forget the day that “the student passed the teacher” and I beat her for the first time. My Dad also taught me a lot. He wasn’t that great at school stuff, although he did do my grade 8 science project on hydraulics that won me the science award. But he was more about life. He taught me how to drive, catch a fish, skin a deer (no joke, I was allowed to take time off school to go hunting. I would be passed out in the truck while he hunted, but I didn’t have to go to school, so that was the upside), and it was actually him that told me “If you have learned something from it, don’t regret it.” I have lived by that motto for my entire life. And to my parents credit, I tested their every nerve and patience. I was that kind of ‘teen’ that if you told them not to do it, I would go do it just out of spite. Like when my Mom told me not to tell my Dad about my first tattoo, I went directly outside and showed him. Or like when I went away to University and decided I was going to get a “Marilyn” piercing on Thursday and post in on MSN. My sister called me the Wednesday before, and told me that Dad told her if I get my lip pierced, I’m not to come home. So what did I do? Got it done that afternoon and went home on Friday. But I brought a friend because you can’t kill me if there are witnesses.
Point of the story is, I have lived a great life. I have had some lulls, valleys, peaks and fiery pits of HELL, but it is my life. So I guess I wouldn’t say anything to my younger self because every misstep, stumble, trip, wrong turn and flat-out fall on my face moments I experienced while growing up, led me to who I am today. And I know this may sound a little bit conceited, but I like me, actually I think I’m pretty damn awesome. I have people who love me, adore me, like me, dislike me, hate me and loathe me with the passion of a burning sun, but the only thing that really matters, is that I like me, and I do. And for those haters out there, keep hating because you know I’m fabulous! LOL