Looks like the End of the Tunnel is Further Away than we Thought


I had posted earlier about finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel in terms of being infertile, we finally got some results back from the doctor and it wasn’t good.  I got home one day after work and there was a message for me.   The nurse had called and said that I needed to come and see the doctor asap to discuss my test results.  To be honest, I had always thought it was a thyroid problem, but I wasn’t so lucky.

“So I’ve gone over your test results and your uterus looks healthy, your kidneys are great, your thyroid is fine, but your ovaries have cysts on them and your hormones are out of whack,” my doctor tells me.

“Ok…what does that mean?” I tremble a little bit.  I shift a little in my chair, trying to brace myself for the news ahead.

“Are you still breastfeeding?” he asks.

“No.  I haven’t breastfed in 3 years.”

“Well your prolactin levels are extraordinarily high and you basically have no estrogen left in your body.  As it stands now, you are not ovulating and you cannot get pregnant.  You have healthy eggs, but your ovaries are not releasing them.  This is likely why you lost your last baby.  Your body doesn’t have the proper hormones to maintain a pregnancy right now.”

“Ok,” I choke.  “What’s the plan from here?”  All I can think is this cannot be happening to me.

I am being sent to an endocrinologist who is going to let me know if some type of medication will regulate this and maybe, just maybe, I may be able to have one more child.  I walked out of the office, somewhat dumbfounded.  Still in shock, I boarded the bus and headed to work.  I tried to choke back the tears, but  “as it stands now, you are not ovulating and you cannot get pregnant” keeps playing over and over again in my head.  I get to work and they ask me how it went and I break down.  I was given the rest of the day off to collect myself.  I felt and still feel betrayed by my body.   To add insult to injury, it happened right before mother’s day.  A person can only take so much.

I called hubby to let him know and when he gets home, he gives me the one thing I truly need.  A shoulder to cry on.  I have to say I love the way he listens without voicing his opinion.  He knows I just need a day to rant and cry and get my feelings out.  He doesn’t try to tell me that everything will turn out ok.  He just lets me feel, and that’s all I need right now to get me through this.  I have been given instructions to reduce my stress levels as that can worsen my prolactin levels as it stands and allow myself to have some “me time”.  So while I am still waiting to see what the specialist has to say, I have to say I feel like the glimmer of hope is beginning to fade.  Now this evening, I did have a bird poop on my shoulder, and it is supposed to be good luck, and I hope so, because God only knows I could really use some right now.

4 responses »

    • Thank you very much for your kind words. I am hopng that the tunnel is close as well and that we are able to have another child. Our daughter is so precious to us and we are hoping to provide her with a sibling that she has been asking us for.

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