Welcome Ladies & Gentlemen. You are all about to witness the greatest battle in Mommydom. This is it, the Toronto Mommy/Daughter Dinnertime Showdown Championship! Through blood and sweat and tears, you are going to see two rivals face off in Five Rounds at Dinner Time. Let’s Get Ready to Rumbleeeeeee!
In the blue corner, weighing only 35 pounds and measuring 3 1/2 feet, we have Princess Danger! Don’t let her button nose, dimples and curly blonde hair fool you, she’s a Warrior of Defiance! This featherweight has sharp teeth, a stiff upper lip and sneaky right hook.
In the red corner, the veteran heavyweight measuring 5 feet 3 inches tall and weights not to be told, Mommy Lionheart. 26 years in the culinary world have made her a contender, but that gullibility may be her downfall. So Ladies and Gentlemen, please take your seats as Five Rounds at Dinner Time is about to begin!
Mommy Lionheart starts with an opening jab; fajitas for dinner. The smell entices Princess Danger and it brings her too close. Wham!!! Princess Danger falls for the grated cheese. And a right hook from Lionheart with the surprise of chocolate milk for dinner. Round 1 goes to Lionheart and the crowd goes wild!
Round 2 is starting off with a bit of back and forth with Princess Danger crippling Mommy Lionheart with some hesitations of sitting in the middle chair. Oh out of left field comes an uppercut to the Lionheart with Danger beginning to whine “I don’t like dinner.” Lionheart stumbles but comes back with “You need to eat so you can grow big and strong.” Great recovery. Danger sits in the chair but is not out of the fight yet. Tie for Round 2.
The battle for dinner time commences in Round 3. Both look at each other, weighing their strengths and weaknesses. Lionheart has the authority, but Danger has a unparralleled stubbornness. This will be a close one. Danger is toying with Lionheart’s gullibility. A few love taps are exchanged. Danger plays with her food, dancing circles around Lionheart persistent nagging. “Please eat.” Danger returns with “I am eating, just slowllllyyy.” Bam!!! Jab to the ribs of Lionheart with Danger sticking out her tongue. Lionheart counters with Time Out! Lionheart wins for Round 3.
Danger is weary but not broken. After returning from Time Out, she plays safe, slowly eating her dinner, watching Lionheart from the corner of her eye. Lionheart eases back, sensing her contender’s submission. Danger pulls a sneak move, dropping her fork on the floor and “accidentally” spilling her food on the floor. “I’m all done now.” Kapow!!! Lionheart counters with a fresh plate of food. Danger, now agitated, starts to pout and pulls out all the stops. “Daddy Big Softie Pants, please feed me.” Lionheart screams “Interference, interference!” The referee does nothing. 2 against 1, how unfair! Lionheart does her best to keep the authority, but the arrival of the tag team player, throws her off and Round 4 goes to Danger!
Lionheart is bruised and bloody but the fight continues. The tag team is becoming too much. Danger is only strengthened by Big Softie Pants and they begin dancing circles around her. She swings tirelessly but it’s no use. Danger stalls with eating. “I want ice cream for dessert” Danger begs, and before Lionheart can jab in a “No!” Big Softie Pants throws a right hook “Only if you eat your dinner.” Lionheart is dizzy. She tries to negotiate with “Five more bites” but it is no use for the Dynamic Duo. “You did good Danger, you can have ice cream.” Whoa did you see that coming?! Despite Danger not finishing her dinner, Big Softie Pants delivers the final blow and it is the final blow to Lionheart! TKO!!!!!!!!! Total Knockout Win for Princess Danger and Daddy Big Softie Pants!!!!!!!! The trophy for today is a Cotton Candy Ice Cream Cone with Sprinkles from Baskin Robbins.
*This is a fictionalized account of our dinner time dramas as of late. Princess is testing every last nerve when it comes to dinner. As you can see, I’m outnumbered”