Tag Archives: love

I’m Back!


Hey everyone!


It’s been a pretty hectic few weeks for this family.  In the middle of July, we left to go spend 16 days with my family as my sister is moving out of country and I wanted to get in some quality time with her and her son before they left.  We had an amazing time.  I got to snuggle up my precious nephew and had long chats with my sister.  The Princess helped my Dad build a fence, which was one of my favourite things to do as a child.  We slept out in a camper one night after a bonfire and even went to a local fair where the Princess wrestled baby pigs!  I don’t know who squealed the loudest, the pigs or the kids chasing them.  She also had her very first pony ride and groomed a Percheron.  We met up with old friends and hung out with our relatives.  The kids played like only cousins know how and got lots of love from their families!  After we said our goodbye’s, we were headed back home.

But we weren’t there very long.  Only 2 days later, we were off for a family vacation to the cottage for a week.  We were without TV or phones but that was ok.  We kept ourselves busy with swimming and boating, and the Princess went tubing.  Turns out I have an adrenaline junkie!  The Rainbow had his first boat ride but was asleep for most of it.  Hey there is always next year.  We enjoyed the peace and quiet of being away from the big city and got to spend quality time as a family.

It’s hard to think that school is not too far away for the Princess and our Rainbow is already 2 months old and making big strides.  By a month he could hold his head up and was smiling.  By six weeks he was cooing and now he’s pulling himself up while holding someone’s fingers.  The doctor has told us he’s doing very well for only 8 weeks and that’s he’s very strong.

So far we’ve had a very busy, but also very enjoyable summer.  We made hello’s and said goodbyes.  We’ve gone to birthday parties and a baptismal.  Ate great food with great people, laughed, and loved.  I will go on the record and say thus far this has been the very best summer I have ever had.

Make Your Heart Happy


February is Heart & Stroke Month and everyone is talking about what foods and exercises you can do & eat to help strengthen your heart. But while most people focus on diet and lifestyle, I say we need to focus on happiness to help make our heart healthy too. Over the last few years I have really learned that life is going to throw you some pretty craptastic curve balls and make you want to throw your hands up and say “Forget this!” but you have to make time for happiness even in the darkest of days.

In a culture where you could on any given moment of any given day you can hear about how the world is ending, the economy is in the toilets, there are BPA’s and red dye number who knows now in just about everything, it’s no wonder that depression is constantly on the rise. Hell, who wouldn’t be depressed listening to the constant negative toxic garbage spewing from every media outlet you can name. I always appreciate it when I hear a story that maybe shouldn’t be classified as news but is uplifting. Yes! Thank you for diverting my attention to something that isn’t making me contemplate calling a help phone line. Life is hard enough without the constant inundation of crap.

My New Year’s resolution was to put myself first and make myself happy and thanking the good Lord above I am sticking true to it. I’ve lost 15 pounds during this pregnancy and thus far have only gained 4 of it back. I joke with my friends that since cutting out stress-causing “friends” from my life, that’s the real reason why I’ve lost the weight.

“Oh yes, I’ve lost 15 lbs, it is because I’ve lost 5 assholes since New Years.”

See a joke, haha makes you laugh and happy. Did you know that laughing improves the function of blood vessels and increases blood flow which can protect you from a heart attack. Make your heart happy by laughing. Laugh it up, watch funny movies, tell jokes, play pranks, get tickled, whatever makes you laugh and enjoy it. Life is short and there must be something behind “Laughter is the best medicine.”

Another way to make your heart happy is by showing love and appreciation to those around you.  Whether it is hugging or kissing or even holding hands, show affection and your heart will thank you.  Holding the hand of a loved one has been proven to reduce stress levels.  It is such a simple, yet intimate and caring gesture that will make you feel better no matter what.   Even though you don’t need to speak, holding someone’s hand gives you that little “everything will be ok” reassurance we sometimes need.  Case in point.  In October of last year, I went to a Baby Loss Memorial without Hubby and during the service I began to cry.  Without ever speaking to this woman before, she came up to me, took my hand and held it for the remainder of the ceremony.  I do not know this womans name, her story or where she’s from, but she did me such a service by simply taking my hand.  She was there to mourn her loss as well and took the time to let me know I was not alone.

So go on people, laugh, love and be happy.  Giggle at those funny pictures online, ogle those adorable pictures of cutesy babies and fluffy puppies, grab a drink with a buddy at the bar, eat that giant bowl of ice cream without any guilt and love your friends and family.  Have 2013 be the best and happiest year ever!

Tell me you don't want to give this lil' guy a squish

Tell me you don’t want to give this lil’ guy a squish

Happy 4th Birthday Princess!


How time has flown by.  It was 4 years ago today that my precious sweet little girl was born.  Born at 7:56 am, weighing 7 lbs, 5 oz and an amazing 21 inches long, my Princess came into this world looking just like her Daddy.  She had a single curl right in the middle of her forehead (a precursor to the personality we would see later) and had wrinkly hands and feet from being overdue.

It was November 9th when my water broke. Hubby looked at me pleadingly, and I said “My water just broke.”  I called the hospital.  They asked if I had any contractions which I didn’t.  They told me to walk to try to bring them on, and if in 24 hours there were still no contractions, I was to come in for an induction.  So on the Monday, Hubby and I walked, and walked, and walked some more.  I had some slight cramping, but nothing that alerted me to what I presumed contractions to feel like.  That night we went to the hospital and they did an ultrasound.  I had lost some fluid, but not all and I was to be admitted.  They gave me Pitocin to start the labour.  It took roughly 4 hours before I felt anything.  The first one, I thought, “this isn’t so bad.” By 1 o’clock, the rest of my water broke.   The pains intensified greatly after that and I began to wonder how women had the ability to yell at their spouses.  I could not utter a word.   I sounded like a dying walrus.  I had never been in labour before, and perhaps I was naïve to believe that the doctors would provide me with some guidance as to how I should do it properly.  I only saw a doctor once or twice, it was mainly the nurses that attended to me.  They  told me to lie in bed, had numerous IV’s coming out of my arms and I was constantly hooked up to a fetal monitor.  I had spoken with OBGYN prior to this and we had discussed pain medications.  I really wanted a natural birth, and I didn’t want an epidural headache so I really did not want to get an epidural.  She told me that she could offer me gas, or nubane as other pain management options  By the time I was in full fledge labour, the nurse asked me what I wanted.  I asked for the gas.  She simply replied, “No, you can get an epidural, or a hot and cold compress.”  I looked at her bewildered.  Why would my doctor say that wasn’t a problem, but this nurse said it was.  While pregnant, they pumped me full of nubane, percocets, oxycontin, morphine and Demerol to ease my pain. Yet now, they were only offering a hot and cold compress.  Maybe it was because she was a night nurse and did not want to listen to my moaning or what I would later learn was that this hospital was not a great one to labour at.  She kept pushing the epidural on me, telling me it would speed my labour and that I would feel nothing.  I had always heard that epidural generally slow labour but why would a nurse lie to me? She went to school, surely she would know the truth.  Finally I conceded, and they brought in the anesthesiologist who they swore was “the best we have.”  They lied.  He hit the left side of my spine twice and the right side once before actually getting it in.  It was excruciating.  Finally once the drugs kicked in, I was able to sleep.  But at 5 am, I could start to feel pain in my left hip.  I had told the nurse that I was in quite a bit of pain, and that my hip was hurting me.  She told me it was a bed sore.  I asked, “I have an epidural, I shouldn’t feel anything.”   She walked away pretending like she didn’t even hear my comment.

By 7 am, The Princess went into distress and I was wheeled away for an emergency c-section.  It happened so fast that I can barely remember the conversation.  They told Hubby to leave the room as they had administer the anaesthesia.  Since I had the epidural, they couldn’t give me a spinal.  So they simply gave me more epidural medication.  They poked me with a needle in the wrist than in the belly and asked “Do you feel pressure, or pain?” It was the same pain.  Then after giving me more, they wiped a wet cloth on my wrist and then my stomach and asked if it was the same feeling.  There was no difference between the sensation of my wrist and the one on my stomach.  They repeated with ice chips and continually told them I could feel my abdomen.  I guess they just believed that with the amount of medication they had given me that there was no way  I could possibly feel anything.  They decided to cut anyway.  I screamed as the scalpel sliced me open and proceeded to vomit and scream “Please stop, that hurts.” The doctors words to me were “We can see the head.” I continued to vomit and scream as it was like being in the movie Hostel or Saw and being awake while being cut open.  Then they realized that there was perhaps I wasn’t exaggerating.  They told my husband to come say goodbye to me.  I was to be put completely under.  I cried as he looked at me and I would later find out they stopped him before he entered the door and asked, “Which one would you want us to save?”

It was 1 pm that afternoon when I finally got to hold her.  She was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen.  Her rosy cheeks, little fingers and toes, I had never felt such immediate and pure love and joy before.  She was mine.  All the waiting and complications were all worth it just to be able to hold her.   I kept telling everyone how beautiful she was.  That was all I could say for about an hour.  I was in complete wonder.  I still am.  Every day she grows and I see more and more, and learn as she learns.  She has grown and so have I.

She has given Hubby and I such immense joy over the last 4 years.  A wild personality, strong-willed but kind and loving, my Princess is our entire world.  I was truly blessed to be given such a wondrous little girl.  We have witnessed her first words, first steps, first tooth, first time eating food, first tears, first smiles, laughs and hugs & kisses.  The Princess made us a family and we are forever grateful.  Happy Birthday my sweet girl.  We love you so much!

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To my Hubby


Happy’s Father’s Day to all those great men out there! I have one very special man in my life and the last 6 years together have been a true blessing in my life. And not to mention he has been the very best Dad to our wonderful Princess!
I remember when I first told him that we were expecting. Him and I were only 21 and 22 respectively, and I was still in school. We lived 5 hours away from each other, so how would we make this work? Needless to say the decision was easy, we were having our Princess. I ended up moving to Toronto at 6 months, but prior to moving, Hubby made the 5 hour trip on the weekends. He took me maternity clothes shopping, was present for the ultrasound and all the necessary cuddling.
He held my hair during my 7 months of morning sickness, helped indulge my cravings, fetched the Tums for my heartburn and cried when we almost lost the Princess when I was 3 months.
The Princess had trouble coming into the world. We had spotting at 3 months, I went into early labour at 7 months and when it was time to deliver her, she went into distress and wrapped the cord around her neck. It took only 30 minutes from the time they told us to when I was being prepped in the OR.
My c-section was no regular surgery either. The epidural gave me an improper block so when they cut into me, I felt everything. Hubby could hear me screaming and crying from the waiting room. The nurse came out and said that he needed to say goodbye to me. He was stunned, he thought he would be able to be there to cut the cord, hear her first cry, but instead he was left out of the loop as to what was happening. Before he was allowed to enter the room, the nurse stopped him at the door and said these words;
“If we have to save one, which one do you want us to save?”
He choose me, but before people get upset and assume he didn’t care for the life of his child, he wanted both of us to be ok. This is a big question to put onto the shoulders of a 21 year old. Either his wife’s or child’s life literally hung in his hands and he was forced to make a decision. We both came out fine, but despite the Princess being born at 7:56 am, I didn’t get to hold her until 1 pm. The anesthesia took forever to wear off, so it was Hubby that took care of the Princess. He gave her the first feeding, held her and calmed her, all the while watching over me. For this alone, I am eternally grateful.
And in the last 3 years, he has been the very best father and husband to us. He has changed diapers from day one, burped, fed, gotten up in the middle of the night, woken up early, worked his butt off to provide for us, cooks, cleans, and even let’s the Princess work her make up skills on him. His toes are currently a beautiful shade of red from the latest nail polish the Princess received.
He picks up the Princess from daycare, goes to her school concerts, he is the very best Dad to our daughter and she loves him more than anything. She is the spitting image of her Daddy and both of them have my heart.
I am dedicating this post to my Hubby, you are the most wonderful husband and father and our Princess is so very lucky to have you as her Dad! Happy Father’s Day <3!

Happily Married Week


This week is Happily Married Week.  So if your spouse is still your best friend, works extremely hard, has been with you through triumphs and tragedies, who loves you when you are at your worst, and at your best, through the days and the nights, then this week is for you.

While my hubby and I are not “officially” married, he is all the things listed above.  It will be 6 years this November and while there has been some bad times, there have been more good.

Me and my Hubby

We met at a party during my first year at university, and the moment he walked in the door, my heart pounded so hard, I thought  it was going to pop out my very chest.  No one, and I mean no one, has ever made me feel like that.  I told myself that he would be mine one day.  It was by fluke that we even met that night.  He didn’t go to my school, was down visiting a mutual friend and almost didn’t come.  We had a great time for those 3 days, but when it was time for him to leave, neither of us got each other’s contact information.     I spent the rest of my summer thinking I let him go and I had missed my chance.  By the next fall, I was living with our mutual friend and another girl.  My friend came down to my room and told me it was his birthday and I should call him.  I thought to myself “would he even remember me?” So I did it, I called him and left him a message on his phone wishing him a happy birthday.  It was three days later when I got a text message from him.  After we started speaking, it came out that he thought about me all summer and wished he had got my number too.  We talked everyday and as he lived in Toronto and I was in Ottawa, a 5 hour distance between us, we didn’t know if long distance would work.  I mean, we only had ever seen each other for 3 days.  But we gave it a chance, and 6 years later, we have  a daughter and are living our lives together.  Now I’m not one to believe in fate, but something drew us together that weekend and we have enjoyed every day since!

What is more surprising is that we are  complete opposites in almost every way.  He is a city boy, I am a country girl.  He loves the cold, I love the heat.  He’s a conservative and I’m a socialist.  He is the strong silent type, I’m a chatty Cathy that wears my heart on my sleeve.  He’s a morning person, and I am a night owl.  He enjoys hockey, and I love discussing the prose of Lord Byron.  I’ve been to Europe and the United States, he’s never left Ontario.  But somehow we make it work.  Perhaps it’s that we both love to debate and given the amount of differences we have, it draws us together. Or maybe there is something behind the adage of “Opposites Attract” but  I can say he is my best friend and I couldn’t imagine my life with anyone else.  I hope that we will be like one of those old couples that die at a ripe old age and on the same day, and are holding hands into the hereafter!