Tag Archives: Mother

What Makes you Beautiful?

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The Princess asked me a loaded question that had me struggling to find an answer.  The Princess received lip chap and play make up for her birthday and loved wearing every ounce of it at the same time.  She’d always watched me put my make up on in the morning and would play make up with Hubby.  I always stressed that she was beautiful but smart and kind and wonderful.  I try to avoid stories or movies that emphasize beauty above all else.  But despite all my best efforts, I heard this;

“Mommy, you wear make up so that you’ll be beautiful right?”

“No, people are beautiful without make up,” I reassured.

“Then why do you wear it?” she asked.

“Ummm,” I stuttered.  I wanted to answer this correctly.  I didn’t want to say that I didn’t look nice without make up or that women looked better with it.  I always try to be aware of how I answer her so that I can avoid making a mistake.  “I wear it because I work in an office where I have to look professional.”

“Ok Mom.” And she skipped away.

There have been a few moments in my life that left my speechless and this was one of them.  I help my make up brush in one hand and my eyeshadow in the other and sat silently in the bathroom on the side of the tub.  Perhaps I think too much and mull over what I say and do around my daughter, but I knew in the deepest parts of my soul that I didn’t want her to equate outside beauty with self-worth.

I remember what it felt like to be a young pre-teen and then a teenager.  As a preteen I had awful acne and was in that awkward phase of going from the tomboy to accepting my womanly fate.  It wasn’t always the greatest feeling being uncomfortable in your own skin.  And then the teenage years came and then it was peer pressure and cliques and attention from the opposite sex.  It wasn’t until I got into my late teens and then into university that I really came to terms with “liking me.”

I’ve never been or ever will be a size 2, let alone a size 6.  I have broad shoulders, I’m short and stocky, and a cow lick that will never go away.  But while these may be my least favourite attributes, I actually like who I am.  I like that I have freckles and that I have high cheek bones and green eyes.  And while I think that you should love yourself for yourself, I will admit that Hubby really helped me see how beautiful I was.  He thinks I’m the most gorgeous woman on Earth.  At first I thought “yeah right,” but after speaking with him more and more, I realize that he really does.  And if he can see how beautiful I am, then why can’t I?  I know I’ll never be a model but I’m ok with that.  I finally feel like this skin is my own.  It took time and maturity and knowing that I was loved for who I was that lead to this transformation.

While I cannot pretend to assume what it is like for girls today with social media and insane expectations of them, I really hope that I am able to ensure that Princess is a well-rounded and confident young woman and can see just how wonderful and beautiful I think and know she is.

What makes you beautiful?

How I Love Cuddles from my Princess

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I am not a big cuddler. It used to irritate my mother when she would try and cuddle with me and would pull away. My mom would rent horror films and we would have all night scream nights watching the classics like Carrie, Halloween or Friday the 13th. Then afterwards she would want my sisters and I to sleep in bed with her. There was one night in particular I was not feeling the big bed cuddle fest. I laid still for an hour until I thought everyone was asleep and then I began to slowly slide out so I could tiptoe into my room. I had one foot on the floor when my mom woke up.
“Where are you going?” She asked.
“To the bathroom,” I groaned, knowing I was busted.
Now that I’m a mom though, I love cuddling with my Princess and she loves cuddling with me. Ever since she was born, she has been a cuddler. Whether its sleeping next to us or on our chests, she loves being close to us. But now that she’s getting older, her cuddling has been reserved for me. Hubby is out of the house often before the sun rises and as soon as I hear him lock the door, I hear the Princess open her bedroom door and her run into my room. She throws herself next to me and wraps her arms around my neck and nuzzles her face against me. I love feeling her nose rub up against my cheek and her little feet strewn across my hips. We lay in my bed until my alarm goes off signaling us to wake up and start our day.
Even on the weekends she cuddles with me. When we watch movies or colour, she needs to be right next to me. And if I am sitting somewhere else, she let’s me know what she wants.
“Mommy, I want to cuddle to you,” she mewls.
“It’s cuddle ‘with’ you and yes I will,” I say.
Often when she wakes up from her nap, she will awake, her face still puffy from sleep, and come and finish the last 30 minutes of her nap on my chest, leaving my heart brimming with love, and a big wet drool stain on my shirt.

National Honesty Day

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Today is National Honesty Day.  Now that I am a parent, I am realizing now why my parents drilled into my head the importance of telling the truth.  I lied as a kid.  All the time.  I hated getting in trouble, especially from my dad.  Now that I’m older, I know his bark was worse than his bite, but it was a frightening bark when I was younger.  But now that I catch my daughter telling fibs, I know my parents frustrations.  So here is to telling the truth and all the benefits it brings.

 

It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place.  ~Henry Louis Mencken, A Little Book in C Major, 1916

If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything.  ~Mark Twain

Who lies for you will lie against you.  ~Bosnian Proverb

No man has a good enough memory to make a successful liar.  ~Abraham Lincoln

Make yourself an honest man, and then you may be sure there is one less rascal in the world.  ~Thomas Carlyle

A half truth is a whole lie.  ~Yiddish Proverb

A lie will easily get you out of a scrape, and yet, strangely and beautifully, rapture possesses you when you have taken the scrape and left out the lie.  ~Charles Edward Montague, Disenchantment

Those who think it is permissible to tell white lies soon grow color-blind.  ~Austin O’Malley

A truth that’s told with bad intent beats all the lies you can invent.  ~William Blake, “Auguries of Innocence,” Poems from the Pickering Manuscript