As Mom’s, there is a tremendous amount of pressure to be the very best Mom to our children and wives to our spouses. And in the process, we often don’t make ourselves a priority. We’ve all heard the jokes about the ‘Mom jeans’ and ‘Mom haircuts’. Let those jokes roll off your shoulders and come to Sherway Garden’s for Star Style Meets VIP at Hello! Canada’s Exclusive Red Carpet Event!
We all want the designer look without the designer price tag, and Hello! Canada’s Fashion & Beauty Editor Julia Seidl will take the very best from the impressive roster of Sherway’s premier retailers and bring the latest in trend-setting styles to every woman! Stop by Sherway Gardens this Thursday, August 29th from 7 – 8 pm in Centre Square. The admission is free, so come take a night off and feel like you are front row at a fashion show in Milan.
The clothing retailers you can find are Michael Kors, Honey, BCBGMAXAZRIA, Juicy Couture, Ross Mayer, Melanie Lyne, French Connection & Holt Renfrew. What outfit is complete without shoes? Sherway Gardens has Stuart Weitzman, Nine West, Browns & Ron White. And lets not forget the bling with accessories from Tiffany & Co., Birks, Pandora, Swarovski & Ben Moss Jewellers. For any budget, Sherway Gardens is the place to shop!
Today I received a compliment, all the while gracious and extremely flattering, I am not sure that I deserve such a compliment. There is one mother whose son is in the same class as the Princess and her and I have grown to know one another over the last few months. Today, we were speaking and she said this;
“You’re such a powerful woman.”
I said thank you very much and was left flabbergasted. The bell soon rang and we parted ways. On the ride to work, I kept thinking in my head “Am I a powerful woman? What exactly classifies a powerful woman?” I perceive women who have persevered, sacrificed and conquered as powerful. I have been very fortunate to have known many powerful women in my life.
My mother’s mother was one of the most influential people in my life. A war bride during the second world war, she moved to a country and started a family. That alone speaks volumes to me. She was a stay at home wife and mother to 5 children when my grandfather died when my mother was only 5 from a heart attack. She then had to find the strength and courage to raise 5 children single-handedly. She would later retire, own her own home and at one point or another had 6 of her 12 grandchildren live with her. She bought me my first dictionary, quizzed me on trivia and really instilled the love of reading I have now. I was only 14 years old when she died, but her legacy will have a lasting effect on me for the rest of my life.
Next was my father’s mother. A dutiful farm wife, she raised 11 children. She cooked, cleaned, and worked in the field up until she gave birth to my father. She never complained about the work load and even sacrificed her own education so her brother could go to school. Family was paramount to her and for that I have an enormous amount of respect for her. And she loved my grandfather. At every meal, she always ate using the utensils my grandfather brought home from basic training in WWII. I will always remember her rocking in her rocking chair, staring out the window, watching my grandfather work outside.
These women demonstrate and illustrate strength to me that I one day hope to possess. While I may have been told I was a powerful woman today, I feel like I have big shoes to fill. I do greatly appreciate the compliment.
As many of you know, I lost my angel baby Emery on March 25th, 2011. It has been 16 months since I lost her, but I still cry myself to sleep. I was never prepared for what came after. The doctors never gave me any pamphlets on bereavement and I didn’t have much of a support group. Most people didn’t know what to say, or never mentioned it again. For a long time, it seemed like everyone else had moved on, but I was stuck. The doctors had sent me home to pass her despite my requests for a D&C and on the 25th, I held my lifeless little girl in the palm of my hand. I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy. That was one of the most devastating moments of my life. But it seemed that only I was really affected. No one else was grieving like I was. I didn’t know anyone who had suffered a miscarriage and I kept getting told “just get over it, move on.”
Now most people know that if you mix baking soda and vinegar in a bottle then put the cap on, eventually the pressure would cause the top to blow. I was that bottle for quite some time. Everyone kept giving me the “stop being negative, it was only a miscarriage, at least you have a child.” And for a long time I kept how I was feeling to myself. Everyone else was over it, maybe so should I. But I had this nagging feeling that I wasn’t crazy, that maybe I was supposed to be this upset. That was my daughter, I had carried her throughout her entire life. From the moment of the positive pregnancy test, everything was about her. My body was her safe vessel and I was the captain. She breathed through me, was fed through me, lived in me. Every thought I had, was in regards to her safety and well-being just as I did with my Princess. And when she left us, I mourned her like I would anyone I loved. But despite the short time we had together, I loved her whole-heartedly. So every time someone would tell me how I was to feel, I would blow my top like my insides were baking soda and their comments were the vinegar and have a full on meltdown. And then I was told I was the crazy one. Had I lost a living child, would my grief been justified? Was Emery a second-class citizen because she died before she left my womb? And because of that, did she deserve a second-class mourning? I grieved alone because no one else would mourn her.
It wasn’t until her angelversary that I knew I had to do something about this. I was growing more and more angry with people. Why didn’t they understand? Who were they to tell me to let go of my daughter? You let go of someone who love and tell me how it feels when someone says to get over it. I knew I needed to find something or someone who understood. I began searching the internet for groups and people telling their stories and I found Faces of Loss. I was looking through its Groups page and I was able to find one in Toronto. I messaged the group leader and last night I went to my very first meeting. I have never felt more accepted. These women understand my heartache and my grief and all those crazy thoughts that went through my mind. They gave me ideas as to how to communicate with Hubby, how to grieve and ways that I could commemorate Emery’s life. I am so grateful for this group and wanted to write about it so that if there are any other women out there looking for support, it IS out there.
Check out my latest book review on L.M. Stull’s debut novel “A Thirty-Something Girl.” Reminiscent of Sex and The City, a 30-chic story of self-discovery and female comradery, this novel is a fresh, fast and easy read. Here is an excerpt of the full review and select my book review tab for the full review.
“Maybe hidden under the dark & heavy layers of despair and doubt lies a shred of Hope.” L.M. Stull’s debut novel “A Thirty-Something Girl” is a story of self-discovery, life & death and true friendship. The protagonist Hope, a newly turned 30 year old, has had a string of bad luck that would cripple the best of people. With the aid and support of her close friends, Hope begins on a journey and stumbles across someone who will end up helping her along the way. Old wounds will be healed, new ones will be inflicted, but the true gem is the mantra “pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keep on going…”